Ask A Mom

I have been attending Moms & Tots each week and have really been enjoying it. I feel so refreshed afterwards. Today, it was "Ask a Mom" and we had a seasoned mom come in to speak with us. I want to share some of what she had to say as well as my own insights regarding parenting. Feel free to share your insights as well.

Proverbs 3:5,6 says: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and he will direct your paths"

Both Moms that we have had at "Ask a Mom" have shared this verse. I think that, we as Moms, cannot do it alone and we need to trust in the Lord & rely on him in every situation.

As Moms we are called to nurture our children. Sometimes our job as a Mom can seem so thankless and ordinary but it is the most important job.

She talked about struggles as a Mom and one of those being able to let go. As our children grow we have less & less influence on them and this is difficult for mothers. This is a struggle of mine as well. We want to be problem solvers for our children.

Another struggle can be selfishness. We want to do what we want to do.

Dates with your children: I have heard this before and she mentioned it again - to take your children out on dates, to make each child feel special, gets equal attention & have their own "Mom" time. this is difficult when one child is more needy than the others.

Some of the advice she gave was:
-pay attention to your children, totally engage in their lives
-think of parenting as an investment
-respect & love your husband

We had submitted questions to her earlier & she answered them. Most of the questions were about discipline, dealing with tantrums, whining, etc. (and no, none of those were my questions, although I do deal & struggle with them all)

As for whining she said that in their home they just said, "we don't do whining", "can't hear you", "I will listen when you ask nicely". I think sometimes we get so used to hearing our children whine that we don't even realize that they are whining and we give into them.

One family has a motto of "Obey All the Way Right Away". I really like that & want to incorporate that in our home.

Other suggestions were to set timers. For example, at clean up time.

-No reminders. Tell them once and follow through. For example, you must do the dishes before you go to soccer. You tell them once & leave it at that. They are expected to do the job and if they don't, they miss soccer. (this is a problem in our home. I feel like I have to tell them 10x before it sinks in)

- make sure your children know the consequences & stick with it.

- Use "end of discussion". They were told what the rule is or what is expected and they try to push it(like bedtime), there is no discussion, no whining, no questions.

Jesus said, "if you love me, you will keep my commands". This can also apply to our children.

I read in a book recently: "It must be fun for all or not fun at all"

One of the questions was, "what is your view on spanking?"
She said that spanking is right but for willful disobedience not just for accidents and such and to never spank in anger. Small children/babies only understand a spanking because you cannot sit down and reason with them.

It isn't whether spanking it right or wrong. Spanking is biblically correct. It is a matter of how we handle it.

The bible says:
"Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction drives it far from him" Proverbs 22:15

"He that spares his rod, hates his son; but he that loves him chastens him" Proverbs 13:24

There are many other verses as well regarding correction and discipline.

Another question asked was "do you have any regrets?"
The main thing was listening. We all listen to our children but she said that she would have listened more, stopped & listened.

I know that I really enjoyed listening to a seasoned Mom and hope there is something that encourages you.

Please feel free to share your insights or what works for you.